I shall not go -
Neither willingly,
nor with some foolish smile upon my face.
I shall not hope
to meet some myth enshrouded maker,
nor shall I plan to join some
perfectly-pitched celestial choir.
My loved ones
who have passed the veil before me,
will not be there to greet me in death.
I take no confort in such foolishness.
This world has been brutal enough.
Why would I expect
some new nirvana to exist;
One that would somehow make up
for all the evil and the pain
we knew here in this place,
and in this consciousness,
faulty as it is.
Faulty,
and filled with foolishness.
Bad Millenia.
We humans are, sadly, the most recent result
of so many millenia’s worth of evolution.
And yet we are such fools -
bent by a desire to find some thing
beyond ourselves
that we can either cling to,
blame everything on,
or believe in.
Hopefully,
the next million years
can bring forth something better
before this world gets destroyed -
either by a bomb built on the inside,
or an asteroid barreling into it
from the outside.
Don’t Know.
We just don’t know.
Cannot know, in such short time
as we have, with a mind
capable of thinking about such things.
We try to guess,
but we are worse for guessing.
and while imagination
probably helped us into consciousness,
it was a poor substitute
for the drought we call reality.
Not By a Long Shot.
I shall not go.
Neither willingly,
nor with happiness,
given a choice.
I shall not easily give up this shell,
despite the evil and the pain
that has been heaped upon it
throughout this mean,
but short existence.
I shall not turn this consciousness
over to oblivion
with some false sense of security,
or some hope for an altered,
and altogether different form of reality.
Knowing the truth
is that there is nothing hiding
behind any of the doors
dealt by death
is not an excuse for hopelessness,
or for dealing damage.
Rather, it makes what we have
even more precious than we might
otherwise have believed.
This is it.
This is life.
Not to be wasted,
nor treated with disrespect.